Once, a man I was in an open relationship with began having a new connection with another woman, and I told a friend about it who knows all involved. My friend said, “I can totally see them together, energetically.” As soon as she said that, I had an instantaneous jealousy reaction. My heart rate increased, my breath became more shallow, and a feeling of discomfort pulsed through my whole body. I thought I was going to throw up.
Don’t suppress uncomfortable sensations like these.
Don’t make up a story about how your partner is to blame for these terrible feelings. Instead, sit with the feelings. They are teachers. Follow them. Trace the breadcrumbs of your own fears and assumptions deep into the rabbit hole of your subconscious.
After exploring the hidden depths of my own jealousy that day, I discovered that my reaction was caused by an unfounded insecurity I had unknowingly been harboring: I was afraid that I was “too much” energetically for my partner.
As soon as I was able to name that fear, I could clearly see my truth: All I can do is be 100% myself. It is not my job to dull my light for those around me simply because I assume that doing so will make them more comfortable. By living in my power and embracing my energy exactly as it is, the right people will find their way into my life. Those who I am “too much” for will slip away–and good riddance.
Luckily, when I told my partner about this experience, he laughed and said, “Our relationship works BECAUSE you have more energy than me! I think we are perfectly energetically matched.” But even if he had said, “You’re right. You are too energetically intense for me,” it would have been a positive outcome. Because embracing your truth is more important that maintaining a relationship in which you cannot be 100% yourself.
Jealousy is ultimately an invitation to love and accept yourself more deeply. And the more deeply you accept yourself, the more you invite and inspire those around you to embrace their own bright light.